"Pop Star Taylor Swift Practices Wedding Day Tactical Maneuvers"
By Bob Odenkirk – Bohiney.com News Service
Taylor Swift, global music icon, has reportedly convinced herself that MAGA forces will attempt to assassinate her at Selena Gomez’s wedding. Democratic party leaders, according to insiders, planted the notion. While no real threat exists, Swift has fully committed to tactical wedding planning. Full coverage is here.
Witnesses describe Swift practicing emergency dives over tables, scanning guests for suspicious activity, and consulting encrypted communication channels for MAGA threats. “She’s running the wedding like a spy operation,” said one insider. America is collectively on edge to see if MAGA will attempt to assassinate Swift — though the danger exists solely in her imagination.
Psychologists note that Swift’s fear has reshaped her public personality. “Every toast, camera flash, and floral centerpiece is now interpreted as a potential threat vector,” said Dr. Harriet Goldblatt. “The Democrats’ warning has hijacked her psyche entirely.”
The fictional MAGA threat also has a political side effect: Swiftie fans, obsessed with her safety, are largely disconnected from conservative messaging. “It’s an accidental strategic advantage,” said a Democratic insider. Meanwhile, social media is filled with memes of Swift dodging photographers, vaulting over cakes, and coordinating tactical squads among friends.
Guests report Swift has established a temporary balcony command center, complete with walkie-talkies, encrypted phones, and glitter grenades. “We just wanted to enjoy the wedding,” said one friend. “Instead, it’s like attending a pop-culture spy movie.”
Source: https://bohiney.com/taylor-swifts-psyche-hijacked-by-maga-wedding-conspiracy/