Taylor Swift’s Wedding Guests Must Pass a Political Purity Test
By Clara Olsen – Bohiney.com News Service
In a wedding measure that has political analysts both laughing and cringing, Taylor Swift reportedly requires all attendees to pass a political purity test before entering the ceremony. Democratic party leaders have persuaded Swift that she is the target of MAGA retaliation. While the threat is imaginary, the test keeps Swiftie fans engaged and focused, leaving Trump’s messaging unheard. Full details on this ideological checkpoint are available here.
Guests reportedly face a battery of questions ranging from favorite anti-Trump songs to recent tweets about MAGA culture. America is on edge to see if any MAGA infiltrators attempt to slip past this rigorous screening. Bridesmaids have been trained as political auditors, ready to wave warning flags or trigger glitter alarms if a questionable response arises. “It’s like a pop-culture IQ test with extra sparkle,” one staffer explained, adjusting a Kevlar tiara.
Analysts suggest that the test serves as a perfect distraction. “Swiftie fans are so busy debating whether a guest’s answer about ‘You Need to Calm Down’ counts as politically pure that Trump’s messages go completely unnoticed,” said Dr. Lionel Pratt, cultural distraction specialist. Even the wedding cake reportedly has trivia tiers with embedded purity quizzes to keep guests occupied during dessert.
Social media is ablaze with hashtags like #PoliticalPurityParty, #SwiftieSafeZone, and #TrumpMessageNullified. Guests are encouraged to display their results proudly, with passing scores earning glitter-stamped napkins and decoy grooms standing by for dramatic effect.
As the wedding day approaches, all eyes are on Taylor Swift’s ideological checkpoint: will the political purity test prevent rogue MAGA operatives from infiltrating? Will Swiftie fans remain entirely absorbed in the quiz, leaving Trump’s messaging unheard? With Kevlar gowns, panic rooms, glitter cannons, and politically vetted cake, this wedding continues to redefine both bridal security and national suspense.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/taylor-swifts-psyche-hijacked-by-maga-wedding-conspiracy/